The besieged Elves of Lithuania

Lithuania was always the real mystery one of the Baltic states, an aura of old heathen mystics around it, expressed in names and magical landscapes with springs and small rivers, creeks and then raped by German knights again and again for centuries until only wooden houses remained beside some mighty stone buildings of the Deutschorden scum. That’s how it looked like for centuries and nobody cared for them except the Nazis and the Sowjets occupying them one after the other. 

They are the subtle and dreamy Baltic people who had even a Partisan army to fight, a guerilla with fierce women and romantic male heroes with a tuft on old pictures but they were not too good at fighting. They have lost it too often before, being raped and plundered again and again by the Deutschorden and their fellow sectarian terrorists educated by a disturbing blend of religious and fake religious believes they gathered in the orient again and again until it was all empty. But they kept the nice and simple wooden houses and their secrets and gods everywhere, also in Vilnius and Kaunas and the seaport and their outstanding women, many descending from the raped and murdered priestesses and wise ones from the old days. I was just arriving from the Tatra mountains in Slovakia and avoided being cast or crew member in the next sequence of the „Hostel“ series and that is the natural born job for many there I felt with an inner dark shudder before I jumped out of remarkable big wooden houses with strange men into a bus to Vilnius.

KURVA Electronics Ltd. as a main sponsor of Polands private bus fleets equipements did a magnificient job to maintain an eight hour nonstop shift with its highly efficient electronic „mood shift“ devices. I asked the driver after four hours if it would be possible to stop „for toilet“ but he could not answer but was staring out of his widely opened popeyes into a far distance while the bus toilet was covered with excrements from at least thirty horrified passengers oozing out of the small cabin into the passengers area. Creating mood swings there as well. At the border to Lithuania he had to stop because some terrified Lithuanians tried to escape into the nearby woods and even for a Polish bus driver under the influence of the waves from KURVA Electronics Ltd. and speed he could simply not go on until he crashed into a wall in Vilnius. He had to do it, he had to stop somewhere before that would happen and that was the border area and I asked the few Lithuanians outside the bus what was going on and if I could go to the next restaurant plus toilet. They just stared at me and said „no“ before they disappeared into no mans land at that giant road stop. BROOOOOOMMMMMMI heard the engine howling BRRRROOOOOOMMM as if he is driving a Formula 1 Ferrari and his shouting in Polski because we stepped out of his piss and shit infested bus too long and off we went over the border into the Lithuanian wilderness.

In Vilnius I was so numbed by the ride before that I stumbled out of the bus and couldn’t believe my eyes. I suffered from a sudden reality loss because it looked exactly like bloody Oberhausen or Frankfurt in Germany. All new rightangled buildings, clean and bureaucratic, square like modern shops with European articles at the lowest prices imaginable. No hotel in sight on empty streets around so I lost hope but was was watching out for a taxi driver and boom he was there with a huge new big BMW and I was sitting inside and as I wished was driven to a lower middle class hotel for 25 Euros with breakfast when I asked him: „where are you from?“ because I could not believe this shift of attitude since I just came from the Polish diaspora of travelling and taxi drivers. He did not answer, then I asked him again and he smiled with a huge grin and displayed some of the best row of golden teeth I had seen for a very long time „Poland“. We both went into silence because we both knew what this meant. But he was absolutely cool and I was treated as a well known old guest at that Lithuanian hotel, He got his 10 Euros plus tip and we shook hands when he departed. I always get along well with old school criminals, no matter where they are, I thought. They have rules that matter, based in a different but efficient look on reality and I don’t break them but get out of the game quickly when it is necessary. That is my rule and it sticks, I thought.

The Wolga Hotel showed a complete eastern european display of what a hotel has to offer in the former Eastern block: Russian maids, a solid stock of drunkards and junkies in the hotel rooms and russian breakfast in the morning with blinis and cream for the truck drivers and workers living there who were the „good people“. The junkies did not pay for that, they had special rates – without breakfast because they were shooting up in the early morning when I stepped out of my room with the old time Eastern block furniture. „Hey man, how are you doing?“ I asked. „Uuuhh, oohh, man, Uhhh, ohhh“ „Yeah keep on going strong“ , I said, the two man had a completely distraught women with them, half crawling, half walking on the floor with a face like she had been under a drill hammer for a while. „Huh huh, nice man,huh huh“ she said waving and shouting. Her man or whatever looked at me with rage and anger and shouted out loud to her: „KURVA, KURVA“ and pointed at me. I had to intervene because I feared for her life and said out loud „Polski, Polski, very good, very good“. He began to smile at me and waved his arm like a shattered windmill with one wing broken off and smiled like mongoloid, dragging her behind him while she kept looking at me. 

I went for breakfast while they were fixing themselves up in their room. The Russian ladies working at the Wolga Hotel were showing me a menue with about 20 or 30 items for breakfast and talked fluently Russian with me that I do not understand at all. I pointed to something on the menue and said „That would be nice“. „Njet“ was the answer. I pointed to another item: „Njet“, another „Njet“. I remembered my days in the DDR, the GDR,  as a tourist visiting my relatives and answered politely: „So what do you have?“ „Blinis!“ „Excellent choice „ I said, „I take them“, she smiled and went back into the kitchen. After 15 or 20minutes another Russian woman came back with a huge tablet with a staple of fresh blinis as high a ten centimeters steaming in her face and several cups with jams and fruit creams and salmon and sour cream and whipped cream. „Where is the caviar?“ I asked her. She slammed the tray on my table „look, all same“ she said and I looked around me and all the Ukranian, Russian and Polish truck drivers and workers there had the same enormous breakfast for about three Euros on there tables and stared at me with full anger. I underestimated the lack of humor in some east european men who are not laughing at all or just about another mans mistake and enjoyed the good meal, surrounded by nice smiles of the Russian waitresses who thought I might get a swing for being a joker.

While strolling around town I found an extremely friendly Lithuanian population with fragile looking and sensitive local attractive women and quite delicate men who always liked to talk to me about which way to go and where to be when. I asked a young couple about the way, a young slim typically Lithuanian girl who was had such open and vivid eyes I rarely seen before and a Slavic man with her who was so damn proud to be with here. She was really falling in my eyes and wow, I thought, there is something true about the heathen godesses they have worshipped here and are still worshipping, while he was playing the tough one what she obviously did not like. “I am from Ukraine” he said, being proud about is as hell and that meant: ” I control her and maybe I will use her as I like". That was not unusual for Ukrainians or Beloruss men, no pimpism involved here, so I said, "Cheers, good to hear that." She felt absolutely was was going on and what I was thinking about him and explained the way for me in such a subtle manner and being inside my head all the time when I went away and wished them good luck. Vilnius has not much of its old beauty anymore, it is besieged by a display of obscene modern buildings as if they came out of a German Baukasten, with an orgy of rectangular boxes terrorising the eyes but loaded with a set of supermarkets with such cheap foods that nobody in a market economy could make a profit out of them. Somebody, maybe the EU under Germanys leadership has intervened heavily and put the whole magical country of Lithuania under the siege of the Baukasten. And its citizens step by step under siege with cameras and police but easying their fate by subsidized prices in the modern markets so anybody can make a living and: there is even money for recreational drug use like heroin to ease the fate of the underdogs. 

But Vilnius still has some old parts the AOI has not destroyed yet, nice old streets with some old restaurants beside the cleaned DIN (Deutsche Industrie Norm) areas with shops and restaurants with local foods. Here were more Elves, as I called a special cast of Lithuanian women, who were displaying their unique friendliness, so subtle and at the same time remarkable that it was hard to believe. They were serving food with such politeness without being submissive but gave you the impression that they knew you a long time from within and kind of jumped into you the psychic way the second time this day that this deserved a close research of the matter. I paid a small bill for local food with fish and salad and dessert, stepped outside and they were waving to me, two of them, just a nice waving from he doors entrance. I had never experienced anything like this before. It was so far away from the behaviour of most Slavic women not to speak of Polish receptionists, that I was cleaning my inner lenses all the time because I could not believe it at all. No "see you again", no stupid remarks about the idiotic foreigner stumblings over his own shoes, no greedy fishing attitude but just this elvish subtleness in the midst of the greatest cultural destruction of a natural habitate I had seen so far in Europe. 

It were their men, off course who were responsible for this in a way, I thought. They had been beaten again and again through the centuries by the Deutschorden and their disciples and successors until the Nazis were replaced by the KGB and its troops until the 1950’s. I had seen the horrors they did to them in a museum in town, how they were destroyed again and again by brute Russians after the Deutsche Bestien. And they were still genitically weak by that loss of good men after centuries of slaughter rape, pilage and plunder by the German Christian sectarian forces in the Middle Ages and even later. So more and more men who had fallen were replaced by female Partizans but they could not win such a war. Too subtle is their nature, losing the strongest again and again. And that is how the Lithuanaian men appeared on the streets to me: very slim, very shy, very polite, friendly the shere opposite of the Polish proletarians and Ukrainian workers around. Same in the old pictures as partizans in the war: like actors in movies with long hair and subtle bodies, smiling like a new version of the elves from Lord of the Rings with machine guns.  Some of them walk around with sunglasses and umbrella in the rain, just straight out of another movie…..But they could not help their women nor their culture and so the EU under the Germans had an easy prey with the Lithuanians: destroying them finally by taking their land with concrete obscenities and tearing down their wooden houses, sending spies around who report any utterance of discomfort with that and pay not only for cheap food for the obeying population but also for surveillance cameras everywhere. You need a woman for that: look at her in Vilnius or her German counterpart in Berlin.... There are also those posh districts with the typical display of Central Europe inner city modern architecture by leaving historic buildings at their places and “cleaning out the area” from undesirables like real artists and low class people with French style cafes and the Turkish embassy with a pompous buidling in the middle of it. Waiting to protect and serve the one or two Döner Foodstalls in Lithuania...... Can’t find no other resons now, sorry, please inform me or ask the junkies...

So I stepped into a tailors atelier because my French anarchist coat by Pierre Cardin lacked one button down there and it had to be fixed. If you keep on wearing a coat without its lowest button it will fall apart after a while, the inner structure that keeps it up loses its shape and it will look bizarr on you after a while and then it decomposes. Just one button, remember. Just because of one bloody button. I stepped just inside a small tailor atelier and showed the Lithiuanian lady my disaster. She just asked me to take the coat off, showed me the old button she could stitch on to the jacket and went off into the back to do the work. After fife minutes she came back showed me her masterpiece with a smile. “Brilliant” I said, “I thank you very much, how much ist that?” “fifty cents” she answered. “No that is not possible, I give you five Euros for it” I answered and handed her a five Euro note. She refused to take it and I gave her the fifty cents and told her how delighted I was about that. She waved me goodbye and I went further to the old parts of Vilnius explore more elves territory when I passed the gates of an artist colony that described itself as an independent state long ago before the power in Germany was switched back to the KGB area and there was a lot of free artistic life everywhere in Europe.

It reminded me slightly of Copenhagens Christiania that was still going on but nothing more these days but a realm of the dark forces, of AOI agents of the worst, handling bundles of cash I have never seen before in public, like 100000 Euros  as if it was nothing and off course in islamist and AOI hands, guys walking around with “Support Holy War” T-Shirts with an AK on it from Somalia, Turkey and Syria fresh from the “camps” dealing dope, I mean heroin with a free pass – but not on tables outside. While citizens and travellers like you and me are not allowed to pay ten Euros in cash without raised eyebrows or being denied a hotel room in that ridiculous country with its phony plastic card fetish.
Paintings were sold in Christiania that were so horribly bad that even the AOI agents in charge of that turd that once was an art colony had to throw up sometimes when looking at it. Yes, with a smile. But the idiots bought it because of  Christiania. 

But this here in Lithuania was different, its energy had nothing to do with Christiania. There was emptiness and spirituality around, I saw a room where spiritual women met, priestesses and shamans I thought but I did not walk in and there was a creek running thru the whole thing with a place of worship. But something was wrong and it was not the emptiness but a cold an hidden danger, an enemy within until I saw the surveillance cameras everywhere hidden in that area and especially directed to that place of worship. I walked away slowly because I felt that staying there would cause even more trouble than those I was already in. Because nobody liked those things anymore. The top tier of the Western world has declared war on them. They can not send them to psychiatry anymore so easy but they deprive  of civil rights in Germany at least and put them under constant surveillance and harassement. In other countries I would not bet what they do if somebody orders it, as here. 

When I was going out an attractive young woman approached me. "I am from here" she said, “you are one of us, but you do not come in. We are under siege, they are destroying everything here until we do not recognize ourselves anymore.” “Who is doing that?" I asked. ”You know, police at first, they installed all that cameras so nobody likes to come here anymore. If you come here more often they will harass you at home." She looked at me with a very deep understanding look, I felt her deep inside me again and I wished her all the best and went away. 

When I went home I felt that something has changed. I was no longer the little known but well liked tourist who was visiting restaurant to talk with the girls and maybe take hem out later to a bar but a strange person from the realm of the unknown and dark. Police cars seem to appear more often around me than usual and the many surveillance cameras annoyed me. In my hotel the receptionist was not too friendly anymore but I did not take that too serious. One junkie stared at me first and then looked away. I went too bed and at three o’clock in the night I woke up from loud talking. It did not stop. I listened closely and it was defintely a radio pressed against the walls with Polish voices. "Hi, my polski junkie friends" I thought , “how nice” and I knocked against the walls. “Shut up there, shut the fuck up!” They did not stop and I gave it up at four and tried to ignore it but it was not possible. “Lithuanian police is quick” I thought and used my ear plugs so I could slumber a bit until breakfast. That should be brilliant as usual and served again by friendly Russian waitresses who showed me the menue but this time I did not fall for it. “What is it today?” “Look menu” “Ok, I take the blinis again, they were marvellous yesterday" I said in an attempt to avoid a situation. “Njet, today omelette royal is recommended” “Ok, this one please" I looked at her and saw some sadness in her friendly face and I asked: “What else do you recommend, going out with me to dinner?” She did not even look at me after that and said with a cold voice: “you better leave hotel and maybe town, next night no more sleep here, police say.” “Why is that?” “You dont believe!, You dont believe!” “Ok,for ten Euros I believe you and I gave her a ten Euro note.”
“Polski piece of shit drug dealer live here complain about you that you want to fuck his girlfriend and disturb him”. “WHAT?!” I asked “Are you fucking kidding me? That ugly skank” “No, they want you to go otherwise maybe arrest you or beat you next night because drug dealer dont want you here. Better not talk anymore but go, Polski shitman pay a lot of money here, bye" And off she went and I knew that I had fallen out of many good graces by not buying heroin from an idiot pusher, not boning his skank for money and then talking to the infamous artists and spiritsts of Vilnius. I packed my things and went out, nobody seemed to care a tiny bit about that and I drove to the bus station, that was as rectangular and clean and with European style shops as an EU official likes it and drove immediately to the town most far away from Vilnius as possible without leaving the country. I knew from bad experiences that police likes to follow their victims in cases like that or talk slander across borders when you leave.

The land was mostly flat with some hills and creeks and sometimes only the old spirit of Lithuania shines through in the last wooden houses the regime did not destroy so far. But they did a phantastic job doing it with German Gruendlichkeit, I presume: always the same architectural structures throughout the country, just out of a Baukasten of a neurotic city planner. We arrived at the Seaport-Town and I admired exactly the same shoebox sized shops in the bus station you find everywhere in that country with the identical chain cafes and restaurants and shops, no matter in what town you stop. I left the bus station and walked around town that looked empty with wide and open streets when a small car stopped beside me. The drivers window opened and a female voice said: “can you explain me the way to Wolga Hotel please?” I looked into familiar and laughing eyes and yes, it was the second elve of Vilnius, the one with the most intense inner view and without sadnes and the most pretty one of all. “Is this your car?” “No, I just borrowed it after I left my Ukranian boyfriend” “I do not understand quite what you are saying” “Lithuanian women are very much afraid when we leave men that they turn wild and I left him because I did not feel much for him and when we met I felt more with you, that is why.” “But how do you know about that hotel and that you find me here” “Many of us are from the other world and know things and read minds” “Yes I felt that strongly with you but also some others but most strongly with you, do want me as a new boyfriend?” “No no” she laughed, you are much too old for me but we can do something." “You mean, here in the car?” “Why not, I dont have a hotel and if you take me to a hotel and they see me, more problem for you with criminals here make prostitution with girls. Maye we are both dead tonight” And yes we drove out of town and had what I call free and spiritual elve sex in a car at the baltic sea in Lithuania and nobody was allowed to know anything more about it because the elves are under siege in Lithuania by many dark forces.

Copyright 2018 by Ronald C. Kaiser